L>The school Days of an Indian Girl.The college Days of an Indian Girl. "The college Days of an Indian Girl." by Zitkala-Sa (1876-1938) Publication: American Indian stories by Zitkala-Sa. Washington: Hayworth publishing House, 1921. Pp. 47-80.The school Days of one Indian Girl.I.THE soil OF RED APPLES. THERE were eight in ours party of bronzed children who to be going eastern with the missionaries. Amongst us were three young braves, two tall girls, and also we three small ones, Judéwin, Thowin, and I. We had actually been very impatient to begin on our journey to the Red to apologize Country, which, us were told, lay a tiny beyond the an excellent circular horizon of the western prairie. Under a sky of rose apples us dreamt that roaming together freely and also happily together we had actually chased the cloud shadows top top the Dakota plains. We had anticipated lot pleasure indigenous a ride on the steel horse, however the throngs the staring palefaces disturbed and also troubled us. top top the train, same women, through tottering babies on each arm, quit their haste and also scrutinized the children of absent mothers. Big men, with heavy bundles in your hands, stopped near by, and riveted your glassy blue eye upon us. i sank deep right into the corner of mine seat, for i resented gift watched. Directly in prior of me, children who were no bigger than ns hung us upon the backs of your seats, through their bolder white deals with toward me. Sometimes they took their forefingers the end of their mouths and pointed in ~ my moccasined feet. Their mothers, rather of reproving such rude curiosity, looked carefully at me, and attracted your children"s further notification to mine blanket. This embarrassed me, and kept me continuous on the verge that tears. ns sat perfectly still, with my eyes downcast, daring just now and also then to shoot lengthy glances about me. Chancing to revolve to the window at mine side, i was fairly breathless upon seeing one acquainted object. It to be the telegraph pole i m sorry strode through at short paces. An extremely near my mother"s dwelling, follow me the sheet of a road thickly bordered through wild sunflowers, part poles favor these had actually been planted by white men. Regularly I had stopped, on my way down the road, to host my ear against the pole, and, listening its short moaning, I offered to wonder what the paleface had done come hurt it. Currently I satellite watching because that each pole that glided through to be the critical one. In this means I had actually forgotten mine uncomfortable surroundings, when I heard one of my comrades contact out mine name. I experienced the missionary standing really near, tossing candies and gums into our midst. This amused united state all, and we tried to see who could record the most of the sweetmeats. Though us rode several days inside of the stole horse, I carry out not remind a single thing around our luncheons. It was night once we got to the institution grounds. The lights from the home windows of the big buildings fell upon few of the icicled trees the stood beneath them. Us were led toward an open up door, where the brightness that the lights within flooded out over the top of the excited palefaces who blocked the way. My human body trembled an ext from fear than from the snow I trod upon. start the house, i stood close against the wall. The solid glaring light in the large whitewashed room dazzled my eyes. The noisy hurrying of difficult shoes ~ above a bare wooden floor boosted the whirring in my ears. My only safety appeared to it is in in keeping next come the wall. As I to be wondering in which direction come escape from every this confusion, two warm hands grasped me firmly, and also in the same minute I to be tossed high in midair. A rosy-cheeked paleface woman captured me in she arms. I was both frightened and also insulted by such trifling. Ns stared right into her eyes, wishing she to let me was standing on my very own feet, yet she jumped me up and also down with raising enthusiasm. My mother had actually never make a plaything of her wee daughter. Psychic this I started to cry aloud. they misunderstood the reason of my tears, and placed me at a white table loaded v food. There our party were united again. As I did not hush my crying, one of the older persons whispered come me, "Wait until you space alone in the night." It to be very little I might swallow besides my sobs, that evening. "Oh, I want my mother and also my brothers Dawée! I desire to walk to my aunt!" ns pleaded; however the ears of the palefaces can not hear me. native the table we were taken follow me an increase incline of wooden boxes, which ns learned climate to speak to a stairway. In ~ the top was a quiet hall, dimly lighted. Plenty of narrow beds were in one right line under the entire length of the wall. In them lay sleeping brown faces, i m sorry peeped simply out the the coverings. Ns was tucked right into bed with among the tall girls, because she speak to me in my mother tongue and seemed to soothe me. I had arrived in the exorbitant land of rose skies, yet I was no happy, as I had thought I have to be. My lengthy travel and also the bewildering sights had tired me. I dropped asleep, heaving deep, exhausted sobs. Mine tears were left to dried themselves in streaks, since neither my aunt nor my mom was close to to wipe castle away. II.THE cut OF MY long HAIR. The an initial day in the land of apples was a bitter-cold one; for the snow still spanned the ground, and also the trees were bare. A big bell rang because that breakfast, its loud metallic voice crashing v the belfry overhead and also into our perceptible ears. The annoying clatter of shoes on ceiling floors offered us no peace. The consistent clash of harsh noises, v an undercurrent of countless voices murmuring one unknown tongue, make a bedlam in ~ which i was securely tied. And though my heart tore itself in struggling for its lost freedom, every was useless. A paleface woman, v white hair, came up after ~ us. Us were placed in a heat of girls who were marching into the dining room. These were Indian girls, in stiff shoes and closely clinging dresses. The little girls wore sleeved aprons and also shingled hair. Together I go noiselessly in my soft moccasins, i felt prefer sinking to the floor, for my blanket had actually been stripped from mine shoulders. I looked difficult at the Indian girls, who seemed not to treatment that they to be even an ext immodestly dressed than I, in your tightly fitting clothes. While we marched in, the boys gotten in at an the opposite door. I watched because that the three young braves who came in our party. Ns spied castle in the rear ranks, looking as uncomfortable together I felt. A little bell to be tapped, and each that the pupils drew a chair indigenous under the table. Supposing this act meant they were to be seated, i pulled out mine and at once slipped into it from one side. But when i turned my head, I witnessed that ns was the just one seated, and all the remainder at our table stayed standing. Simply as I started to rise, feather shyly about to see exactly how chairs to be to be used, a second bell to be sounded. Every were seated at last, and also I had to crawl back into mine chair again. Ns heard a man"s voice at one finish of the hall, and also I looked approximately to view him. Yet all the others hung your heads over their plates. Together I glanced at the lengthy chain of tables, I recorded the eye of a paleface mrs upon me. Instantly I dropped mine eyes, wonder why i was so keenly watched through the strange woman. The guy ceased his mutterings, and then a third bell to be tapped. Every one choose up his knife and also fork and also began eating. I started crying instead, for by now I to be afraid to venture anything more. however this eating by formula was no the hardest psychological in that very first day. So late in the morning, my friend Judéwin offered me a destructive warning. Judéwin knew a few words that English, and also she had overheard the paleface woman talk around cutting our long, hefty hair. Our mothers had taught us that only unskilled warriors that were recorded had their hair shingled through the enemy. Amongst our people, short hair was worn by mourners, and also shingled hair through cowards! We debated our fate some moments, and also when Judéwin said, "We need to submit, due to the fact that they room strong," i rebelled. "No, I will not submit! i will struggle first!" ns answered. ns watched my chance, and also when nobody noticed i disappeared. I crept increase the stairs as quietly together I can in my squeaking shoes, – mine moccasins had been exchanged because that shoes. Along the hall i passed, without discovering whither i was going. Transforming aside come an open door, I found a big room with 3 white bed in it. The windows were covered with dark eco-friendly curtains, which do the room very dim. Thankful the no one to be there, i directed my procedures toward the corner farthest native the door. On mine hands and also knees ns crawled under the bed, and also cuddled myself in the dark corner. From my hiding place I peered out, shuddering with fear whenever i heard footsteps near by. Though in the hall according to voices were calling my name, and also I knew that even Judéwin was in search of me, i did not open up my mouth to answer. Then the procedures were quickened and also the voices ended up being excited. The sounds come nearer and also nearer. Women and also girls gone into the room. I held my breath, and also watched them open closet doors and peep behind big trunks. Part one threw increase the curtains, and the room was filled v sudden light. What led to them to stoop and look under the bed I carry out not know. I remember being dragged out, despite I stood up to by kicking and scratching wildly. In spite of myself, ns was brought downstairs and tied fast in a chair. i cried aloud, shaking my head every the while till I feel the cold blades of the scissors against my neck, and also heard lock gnaw off among my thick braids. Climate I lost my spirit. Since the day i was taken indigenous my mother I had suffered extreme indignities. Civilization had stared in ~ me. I had been tossed around in the air like a wooden puppet. And also now my long hair was shingled choose a coward"s! In mine anguish ns moaned for my mother, however no one came to comfort me. Not a soul reasoned quietly through me, together my own mommy used come do; for currently I to be only among many small animals moved by a herder. III.THE eye EPISODE. A brief time ~ our come we three Dakotas were playing in the snowdrift. We were all still deaf come the English language, excepting Judéwin, who constantly heard such puzzling things. One morning us learned through her ears that us were forbidden to autumn lengthwise in the snow, as we had actually been doing, to check out our own impressions. However, before many hours we had forgotten the order, and were having good sport in the snow, as soon as a shrill voice called us. Feather up, we saw an imperative hand beckoning us right into the house. Us shook the snow off ourselves, and also started towards the mrs as gradually as us dared. Judéwin said: "Now the paleface is angry with us. She is going to punish us for falling right into the snow. If she watch straight into your eyes and also talks loudly, you should wait till she stops. Then, after a tiny pause, say, "No."" The remainder of the means we practiced upon the small word "no." together it happened, Thowin was summoned to judgment first. The door shut behind her through a click. Judéwin and I stand silently listening at the keyhole. The paleface mrs talked in an extremely severe tones. Her words dropped from she lips choose crackling embers, and also her inflammation ran up like the tiny end of a switch. I understood her voice better than the things she to be saying. Ns was specific we had actually made her an extremely impatient v us. Judéwin heard sufficient of the indigenous to realize all too late that she had taught us the wrong reply. "Oh, bad Thowin!" she gasped, as she placed both hand over she ears. just then i heard Thowin"s tremulous answer, "No." through an upset exclamation, the woman gave her a tough spanking. Climate she stopped to speak something. Judéwin claimed it to be this: "Are you going come obey mine word the next time?" Thowin reply again with the only word at she command, "No." This time the woman supposed her blows to smart, because that the bad frightened girl shrieked in ~ the top of she voice. In the midst of the whipping the blows ceased abruptly, and also the woman asked an additional question: "Are you going to autumn in the snow again?" Thowin offered her poor password another trial. Us heard her say feebly, "No! No!" with this the mrs hid away she half-worn slipper, and led the boy out, stroking her black color shorn head. Perhaps it emerged to her that brute pressure is not the equipment for such a problem. She walk nothing to Judéwin no one to me. She just returned to united state our unhappy comrade, and also left united state alone in the room. during the first two or three periods misunderstandings together ridiculous as this one of the eye episode commonly took place, happen unjustifiable frights and punishments right into our small lives. within a year I had the ability to express myself somewhat in broken English. As soon as i comprehended a part of what was said and done, a mischievous soul of revenge possessed me. Sooner or later I was referred to as in from mine play for some misconduct. I had disregarded a rule which seemed to me very needlessly binding. I was sent right into the kitchen come mash the turnips for dinner. It to be noon, and also steaming dishes to be hastily brought into the dining-room. I hated turnips, and also their smell which came from the brown jar was attack to me. V fire in mine heart, ns took the wooden tool that the paleface woman hosted out to me. Ns stood upon a step, and, grasping the take care of with both hands, i bent in hot rage over the turnips. I functioned my vengeance upon them. All were for this reason busily populated that no one noticed me. I experienced that the turnips to be in a pulp, and also that further beating could not improve them; however the order was, "Mash these turnips," and also mash them i would! ns renewed mine energy; and as I sent the masher right into the bottom of the jar, ns felt a to solve sensation that the load of my body had gone into it. Just below a paleface woman came up to my table. As she looked right into the jar she shoved mine hands roughly aside. Ns stood fearless and angry. She inserted her red hands upon the in salt of the jar. Climate she provided one lift and stride far from the table. However lo! the pulpy materials fell with the crumbled bottom come the floor! She pardon me no scolding phrases that I had earned. Ns did no heed them. Ns felt triumphant in my revenge, despite deep in ~ me i was a wee little bit sorry come have broken the jar. together I satellite eating mine dinner, and also saw the no turnips to be served, i whooped in my love for having once check the rebellion within me. IV.THE DEVIL. Amongst the legends the old warriors used to tell me were countless stories of angry spirits. However I to be taught to are afraid them no much more than those who stalked about in material guise. I never knew there was an insolent chieftain among the poor spirits, who dared to selection his forces against the great Spirit, until I heard this white man"s legend native a paleface woman. the end of a big book she proved me a picture of the white man"s devil. Ns looked in fear upon the solid claws that prospered out of his fur-covered fingers. His feet were choose his hands. Rolling at his heels was a scaly tail tipped v a serpent"s open up jaws. His confront was a patchwork: he had bearded cheeks, choose some I had seen palefaces wear; his nose was an eagle"s bill, and also his sharp-pointed ears were pricked up choose those of a cracked fox. Above them a pair that cow"s horns bent upward. I trembled through awe, and my love throbbed in mine throat, together I looked in ~ the king of angry spirits. Then i heard the paleface mrs say the this damaging creature roamed loose in the world, and also that small girls that disobeyed college regulations to be to be tortured by him. the night ns dreamt around this evil divinity. As soon as again I appeared to it is in in mine mother"s cottage. One Indian woman had concerned visit my mother. On opposite sides of the kitchen stove, i beg your pardon stood in the center of the tiny house, my mother and also her guest were seated in straight-backed chairs. Ns played v a train of north spools hitched together on a string. It was night, and the wick melted feebly. All of sudden I heard part one revolve our door-knob from without. mine mother and the mrs hushed their talk, and both looked towards the door. It opened up gradually. I waited behind the stove. The hinges squeaked as the door to be slowly, really slowly thrust inward. climate in rushed the devil! He to be tall! the looked specifically like the picture I had seen of the in the white man"s papers. The did no speak to mine mother, since he go not recognize the Indian language, however his glittering yellow eyes were fastened top top me. He took long strides approximately the stove, happen behind the woman"s chair. I threw under my spools, and ran to mine mother. The did not fear her, yet followed closely after me. Then i ran round and round the stove, crying aloud for help. But my mother and the woman appeared not to know my danger. They satellite still, looking quietly upon the devil"s chase after me. At critical I thrived dizzy. My head revolved together on a concealed pivot. Mine knees came to be numb, and also doubled under mine weight prefer a pair the knife blades without a spring. Beside my mother"s chair I fell in a heap. Simply as the devil stooped over me v outstretched claws my mother awoke from her quiet indifference, and lifted me on her lap. Whereupon the adversary vanished, and I to be awake. ~ above the adhering to morning ns took mine revenge upon the devil. Stealing into the room whereby a wall surface of shelves to be filled v books, I attracted forth The story of the Bible. Through a broken slate pencil I brought in mine apron pocket, I began by scratching out his wicked eyes. A couple of moments later, once I was prepared to leave the room, there was a ragged feet in the web page where the photo of the devil had as soon as been. V.IRON ROUTINE. A loud-clamoring bell awakened united state at half-past six in the cold winter mornings. Indigenous happy desires of western rolling lands and unlassoed flexibility we tumbled the end upon chilly bare floors ago again into a paleface day. We had quick time come jump into our shoes and also clothes, and wet our eyes v icy water, prior to a little hand bell was intensely rung for roll call. There to be too many drowsy children and also too countless orders for the day to waste a moment in any kind of apology to nature for giving her youngsters such a shock in the early on morning. Us rushed downstairs, bounding over two high procedures at a time, to land in the assembly room. A paleface woman, through a yellow-covered roll book open on she arm and also a gnawed pencil in she hand, appeared at the door. She small, tired face was coldly lighted through a pair of big gray eyes. She stood tho in a gloriole of authority, while over the rim of she spectacles her eyes pried nervously around the room. Having glanced in ~ her long list that names and also called out the first one, she tossed up her chin and peered v the crystals of she spectacles come make sure of the answer "Here." Relentlessly she pencil black-marked our daily records if us were not existing to respond to our names, and also no chum that ours had actually done it effectively for us. No matter if a dull headache or the painful cough of slow consumption had delayed the absentee, there was just time sufficient to note the tardiness. It was following to impossible to leaving the iron program after the civilizing maker had once begun its day"s buzzing; and as it was inbred in me to experience in silence fairly than come appeal come the ears of one whose open eyes can not check out my pain, i have many times trudged in the day"s exploit heavy-footed, prefer a dumb ailing brute. when I lost a dear classmate. Ns remember well exactly how she used to mope along at my side, till one morning she can not raise she head from she pillow. At she deathbed i stood weeping, together the paleface woman sat close to her moistening the dry lips. Among the folds of the bedclothes I experienced the open pages of the white man"s Bible. The dying Indian girl talked disconnectedly of Jesus the Christ and also the paleface who was cooling she swollen hands and also feet. I prospered bitter, and also censured the mrs for cruel ignore of our physical ills. Ns despised the pencils that moved automatically, and also the one teaspoon which dealt out, native a big bottle, healing to a row of variously ailing Indian children. I blamed the hard-working, well-meaning, ignorant woman that was inculcating in ours hearts she superstitious ideas. Though i was sullen in all my tiny troubles, as quickly as ns felt far better I was prepared again to smile upon the cruel woman. In ~ a week i was again proactively testing the chain which strict bound mine individuality like a mummy for burial. The melancholy that those black color days has left so long a shadow that it dims the route of years that have due to the fact that gone by. These sad storage rise over those of clear grinding college days. Probably my Indian nature is the moaning wind i m sorry stirs them currently for their current record. But, but tempestuous this is within me, it come out as the short voice that a curiously colored seashell, which is only for those ear that are bent through compassion to hear it. VI.FOUR strange SUMMERS. ~ my very first three years of school, i roamed again in the Western country through four strange summers. throughout this time I appeared to hang in the heart of chaos, past the touch or voice of person aid. My brother, being nearly ten years my senior, did not quite know my feelings. Mine mother had actually never gone inside of a schoolhouse, and also so she to be not capable of comforting she daughter who could read and also write. Even nature seemed to have no place for me. I was neither a wee girl nor a high one; neither a wild Indian no one a tame one. This deplorable instance was the impact of my brief course in the East, and the unsatisfactory "teenth" in a girl"s years. It was under this trying conditions that, one shining afternoon, together I satellite restless and also unhappy in my mother"s cabin, I caught the sound that the spirited action of my brother"s pony top top the road which pass by our dwelling. Quickly I heard the wheels of a irradiate buckboard, and also Dawée"s familiar "Ho!" come his pony. He alighted ~ above the bare ground in prior of our house. Tying his pony to one of the projecting edge logs the the low-roofed cottage, he stepped top top the wood doorstep. ns met that there v a hurried greeting, and as i passed by, the looked a quiet "What?" right into my eyes. as soon as he started talking v my mother, ns slipped the rope from the pony"s bridle. Seizing the reins and also bracing my feet versus the dashboard, ns wheeled around in one instant. The pony was ever ready to try his speed. Looking backward, I saw Dawée waving his hand to me. Ns turned through the curve in the road and disappeared. I adhered to the winding road which crawled upward between the bases of little hillocks. Deep water-worn ditches ran parallel on either side. A solid wind blew against my cheeks and fluttered mine sleeves. The pony reached the height of the greatest hill, and began an also race on the level lands. There to be nothing moving within that good circular horizon of the Dakota prairies conserve the tall grasses, over which the wind blew and rolled off in long, shadowy waves. within this vast wigwam the blue and also green i rode reckless and also insignificant. That satisfied my little consciousness to watch the white foam paris from the pony"s mouth. Suddenly, out of the planet a coyote came forth at a swinging trot that was taking the cunning thief toward the hills and the town beyond. ~ above the moment"s impulse, I gave him a long chase and a wholesome fright. Together I turned far to go earlier to the village, the wolf sank under upon his haunches for rest, because that it to be a hot summer day; and also as ns drove slowly homeward, I experienced his sharp nose still pointed in ~ me, till I vanished listed below the margin that the hilltops. In a small while I came in vision of mine mother"s house. Dawée was standing in the yard, laughing at an old warrior who was pointing his forefinger, and also again waving his whole hand, toward the hills. V his blanket attracted over one shoulder, that talked and also motioned excitedly. Dawée turned the old male by the shoulder and also pointed me out to him. "Oh han!" (Oh yes) the warrior muttered, and also went his way. He had climbed the peak of his favourite barren hill to survey the bordering prairies, as soon as he spied my chase after the coyote. His to crawl eyes recognized the pony and driver. At when uneasy for my safety, he had come to run to my mother"s cabin to provide her warning. Ns did not appreciate his kindly interest, for there was an unrest gnawing at my heart. As soon as he went away, ns asked Dawée about something else. "No, my baby sister, ns cannot take it you with me come the party tonight," he replied. Though ns was not far from fifteen, and I feeling that before long I must enjoy every the privileges that my tall cousin, Dawée persisted in calling me his infant sister. the moonlight night, i cried in my mother"s presence once I heard the jolly young people pass by ours cottage. They to be no more young braves in blankets and eagle plumes, no one Indian maids v prettily painted cheeks. They had gone three years to institution in the East, and had end up being civilized. The young guys wore the white man"s coat and trousers, v bright neckties. The girl wore tight muslin dresses, with ribbons in ~ neck and waist. At these gatherings they talked English. I could speak English nearly as well together my brother, yet I was not effectively dressed to it is in taken along. I had no hat, no ribbons, and also no close-fitting gown. Because my return from institution I had thrown far my shoes, and also wore again the soft moccasins. when Dawée was busily prepare to go I regulated my tears. Yet when i heard that bounding away on his pony, I hidden my confront in mine arms and cried hot tears. My mother was troubled by my unhappiness. Coming to mine side, she offered me the just printed issue we had actually in our home. It to be an Indian Bible, given her part years earlier by a missionary. She tried come console me. "Here, mine child, are the white man"s papers. Review a tiny from them," she said many piously. ns took it from she hand, for she sake; however my enraged heart felt much more like burn the book, which afforded me no help, and was a perfect delusion to my mother. I did not read it, but laid that unopened top top the floor, whereby I sat on my feet. The dim yellow irradiate of the braided muslin burn in a little vessel of oil flickered and also sizzled in the terrible silent storm which adhered to my refusal of the Bible. currently my wrath against the fates spend my tears before they reached my eyes. I sat stony, with a bowed head. My mommy threw a shawl over she head and shoulders, and also stepped out into the night. ~ an unsure solitude, ns was suddenly aroused by a loud cry piercing the night. It to be my mother"s voice wailing amongst the barren hills which held the skeleton of hidden warriors. She called aloud for her brothers" spirits to support her in her helpless misery. Mine fingers prospered icy cold, together I realized the my unrestrained tears had actually betrayed my suffering to her, and she to be grieving for me. before she returned, though i knew she to be on her way, because that she had ceased her weeping, i extinguished the light, and leaned my head ~ above the window sill. plenty of schemes of running away from my surroundings hovered about in my mind. A couple of more moons of together a turmoil drove me far to the east school. I rode ~ above the white man"s iron steed, thinking it would carry me earlier to my mom in a couple of winters, as soon as I must be get an impressive tall, and there would certainly be congenial friend awaiting me. VII.INCURRING mine MOTHER"S DISPLEASURE. In the 2nd journey to the eastern I had not come without some precautions. I had actually a secret interview with one of our finest medicine men, and also when i left his wigwam I lugged securely in mine sleeve a small bunch of magic roots. This possession assured me the friends where I should go. For this reason absolutely walk I believe in its charms that i wore it through all the school routine for more than a year. Then, prior to I lost my belief in the dead roots, I lost the little buckskin bag containing every my great luck. at the near of this second term of 3 years ns was the proud owner the my first diploma. The following fall I ventured ~ above a college career against my mother"s will. I had written for her approval, however in her answer I uncovered no encouragement. She called my notice to she neighbors" children, who had completed their education in three years. They had actually returned to your homes, and also were then talk English through the frontier settlers. Her few words hinted that ns had better give increase my slow attempt to discover the white man"s ways, and also be contents to roam over the prairies and also find my living upon wild roots. Ns silenced her by intentional disobedience. Thus, homeless and also heavy-hearted, I began anew mine life amongst strangers. as I hid myself in my little room in the university dormitory, away from the scornful and also yet curious eyes of the students, i pined for sympathy. Regularly I wept in secret, wishing I had gone West, to it is in nourished by my mother"s love, rather of remaining among a cold gyeongju whose hearts to be frozen hard with prejudice. throughout the fall and also winter periods I scarcely had a real friend, though by that time several of mine classmates were courteous to me at a safe distance. my mother had not however forgiven my rudeness to her, and also I had actually no moment for letter-writing. By daylight and also lamplight, i spun v reeds and thistles, until my hands were worn down from your weaving, the magic style which promised me the white man"s respect. at length, in the feather term, I gone into an oratorical contest amongst the miscellaneous classes. Together the day of compete approached, it did no seem feasible that the occasion was so near at hand, yet it came. In the chapel the classes assembled together, with their invite guests. The high platform to be carpeted, and gayly festooned through college colors. A shining white light illumined the room, and outlined plainly the an excellent polished beams that arched the domed ceiling. The assembled crowds filled the air v pulsating murmurs. When the hour because that speaking arrived all were hushed. But on the wall the old clock which discussed the trying moment ticked calmly on. One after another I saw and also heard the orators. Still, I can not realize the they longed because that the favorable decision that the judges as lot as ns did. Every contestant received a according to burst the applause, and some were cheered heartily. Too soon my turn came, and I paused a minute behind the curtains because that a deep breath. After mine concluding words, i heard the same applause that the rather had called out. Upon my retreating steps, ns was astounded to receive from mine fellow-students a large bouquet of roses tied through flowing ribbons. Through the lover flowers ns fled from the stage. This friendly token was a rebuke to me for the difficult feelings I had borne them. Later, the decision of the judges awarded me the an initial place. Then there to be a mad uproar in the hall, whereby my classmates sang and shouted my name at the optimal of your lungs; and the disappointed student howled and brayed in fearfully dissonant tin trumpets. In this excitement, happy student rushed forward to offer their congratulations. And I can not conceal a smile once they wished come escort me in a procession come the students" parlor, whereby all were going to patience themselves. Thanking them for the sort spirit which motivated them to make such a proposition, i walked alone through the night to my own small room. A couple of weeks afterward, I appeared as the university representative in one more contest. This time the competition was among orators from different colleges in our State. That was organized at the State capital, in one of the largest opera houses. below again to be a strong prejudice versus my people. In the evening, together the an excellent audience to fill the house, the student bodies began warring among themselves. Fortunately, i was spared witnessing any of the according to wrangling prior to the contest began. The slurs against the Indian that stained the lips the our opponents were currently burning favor a dry fever within mine breast. yet after the orations were yielded a depths burn awaited me. There, before that huge ocean that eyes, some college rowdies threw the end a big white flag, with a drawing of a most forlorn Indian girl ~ above it. Under this they had printed in bold black color letters words the ridiculed the university which was represented by a "squaw." together worse than barbarian rudeness embittered me. While we waited because that the decision of the judges, ns gleamed fiercely top top the throngs of palefaces. My this were tough set, together I saw the white flag still floating insolently in the air. climate anxiously us watched the man bring toward the stage the envelope comprise the final decision. there were 2 prizes given, the night, and one of them was mine! The evil spirit laughed in ~ me when the white flag dropped the end of sight, and also the hands which furled the hung limp in defeat. leaving the crowd as easily as possible, i was quickly in mine room. The rest of the night i sat in one armchair and gazed right into the crackling fire. I laughed no much more in triumph when therefore alone. The tiny taste of success did not satisfy a hunger in mine heart.
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In my mind I observed my mother far away top top the west plains, and she was holding a charge against me.